Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
