I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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