i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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