who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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