I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
