I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
