I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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