she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
