My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
