So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
