You smell like stripper and shame
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
