Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
there's paper in my vomit.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We talked him into tasing himself.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
