dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize