omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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