Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
