Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize