Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
