in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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