We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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