There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
there's paper in my vomit.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
