he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
