he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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