Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
