Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
