My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize