I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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