No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize