if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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