Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
