I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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