i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They have beer where we have blood.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize