Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
two words...techno handjob
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
