You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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