the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
