she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
