i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
