I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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