Sponge bath it is.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
