There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
