her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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