is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
