He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
