So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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