Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
