Yo dont text me then not text me
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
