Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
