Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
