you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
