Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
