i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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