conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
