I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
