Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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