oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
