i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
