if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
