Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
