My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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