As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize