We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Semen is not good for contacts.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
