he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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