Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
