Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
