So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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