Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
