come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm always down for nudity.
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