I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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